Will We Ever Win 2003-2004 NHL Season Preview
CENTRAL by Ron
Blackhawks
The Blackhawks lost lots of players from last year like Sergei Berezin, Mike Eastwood, Strip Club afficianado Fleury, Phil Housley, Andrei Nikolishin, Lyle Odelein, Chris Simon and Steve Thomas. But they've consoled themselves by saying they're all old. But as a result the team has gotten much younger and inexperienced. Goaltender Jocelyn Thibault will be back though and he was their one all-star although drunk driver Alexei Zhamnov maybe should have been one as well. Look for some great hockey at times followed by long stretches of bad hockey and crap defense with Thibault standing on his head, probably vs. the Flyers.
Blue Jackets
The Blue Jackets had a really good home record last year and a terrible road record. They also gave up the most goals in the West. In the offseason they brought in Todd Marchant, Trevor Letowski, and Darryl Sydor. All those players have playoff experience and come from winning teams. Sydor is expected to help the defense. Third place Calder Trophy finisher Rick Nash is their upcoming star. Look for the Blue Jackets to compete for the last playoff spot.
Blues
The Blues are the Flyers of the West, spending money and losing, lots of potential but always failing at the end. They blew a 3-1 playoff series advantage last year. They can't beat the Redwings just like the Flyers can't beat the Devils. Tkachuk=Leclair. Pronger and MacInnis are still there impressing though but Osgood will now have a full season to disappoint. Pavol Demitra is one of my favorite players though. Go Blues.
Redwings
IFC wannabe Dominik Hasek is back and they couldn't get rid of Curtis Joseph so they have him too. Their defense will be great with Lidstrom leading the way. Steve Yzerman won't leave but Larionov, Fedorov and Robitaille have gone. They picked up Ray Whitney and Derian Hatcher. They have a bunch of talent (although aging) and a great goaltender (although aging). Look for the Redwings to be good.
Predators
Predators are anonymous. Name someone on their team. Yeah, I thought so, you can't. Maybe one of you said Andy Delmore, too bad though - he was traded to Buffalo. Goaltender Tomas Vokoun is good and some guy named David Legwand. Remember these names too: Scott Hartnell, Adam Hall, Denis Arkhipov and Martin Erat. This team is weak.
NORTHWEST by Bui
Colorado
Colorado made the biggest free agency splash by signing both Paul Kariya and Teemu Selanne. A team that didn't lack for any firepower - see Hart Trophy winner Peter Forsberg, and the underrated Milan Hejduk - got the tandem at a bargain basement price. Look for Forsberg to center the former Duckmates. The only question for the Avs is goaltending. With the retirement of Patrick Roy, GM Pierre Lacroix will look to make a move for a playoff tested veteran goaltender should David Aebischer falter down the stretch.
Calgary
Let's be honest here, the Flames are a one-man team. Unless Flames management can surround Iginla with talent, they will always be on the outside looking in. Some bright spots: Last year's mid-season move of hiring Darryl Sutter will provide the foundation for a young nucleus of players, such as RW Chucky 'Grudawg' Kobasew, to blossom. Iginla will be re-united with Craig Conroy and Dean McAmmond, a line that scored over 100 goals 2 seasons ago. The addition of Rhett Warrener will bolster an already deep D corps. Questions though remain about Roman Turek's consistency as well as offensive production outside of Iginla.
Vancouver
Bottom Line: Dan Cloutier let in some soft goals against the Minnesota Wild last playoff season. To shore up this area, GM Brian Burke traded for Johan Hedberg. He'll split duties with young Cloutier during the regular season, but look for Marc Crawford to ride the hot hand come Stanley Cup time. If the Couv are to go deeper, the Dynamic Duo of Naslund and Bertuzzi will need some help, especially from the likes of the underachieving Sedin twins. Unbeknownst to many puckheads, the Couv might have the best offensive minded D corps in the league with Salo, Sopel, Ohlund and Jovanovski.
Minnesota
The Wild went to the Western Conference finals last year. Let me repeat, the Wild went to the Western Conference finals last year. In my humble opinion, Jacques Lemaire should be credited with one of the better coaching performances in recent memory of the Stanley Cup playoffs. Not only did he magically handle the goaltending duo of Roloson and Fernandez, he got a bunch of no-names to believe that they could beat Colorado, down 3-1 in the series. They won't surprise any teams this year, and in addition, the Wild's top 2 scorers, in Gaborik and Dupuis, are still holding out in messy contract disputes.
Edmonton
This team is young and fast. But haven't we said that about the Oilers ever since the Great One left? Once again, the Oilers shed some 'pricey' veterans during the season and offseason - namely Anson Carter and Todd Marchant, for younger and CHEAPER talent. For the Oilers to make the playoffs, these 3 things must happen: The kidz will have to learn to play some defensive hockey. 'Vets', Mike Comrie and Ryan Smith have career seasons. Most importantly, Tommy 'Sini' Salo will need to stand on his head.
PACIFIC by Bui and Chilly V
LA Kings
A healthy Jason Allison and Adam Deadmarsh should put this team in the playoffs. However, as the season begins both are listed as non-roster players due to concussion related injuries last year. Should they get over the injury hump, questions remain about their playoff goaltending. Roman Cechmanek is a huge improvement in net. The enigmatic goaltender can and will put up stellar numbers during the regular season. However, come playoff time, which goaltender will show up; the one that got the Flyers past the Leafs, or the one who was blamed for bowing out to the Senators?
Phoenix Coyotes
The Coyotes got a new look this off-season. Besides new uniforms they signed and acquired perennial team wanderers in centers Chris 'Gratts' Gratton and Mike Sillinger. Both should add depth to a young forward core of Shane Doan, Mike Johnson, Ladislav Nagy and Daymond Langkow. Improved scoring from these forwards and the return to form of Sean Burke will be needed if the Yotes are to make the playoffs.
San Jose Sharks
Last year, no team in the Pacific Division made more big-time changes than the Sharks - fired coach Darryl Sutter and GM Dean Lombardi and the loss of veterans Owen Nolan and Teemu Selanne. New coach Ron Wilson will provide the direction. Patrick Marleau and Marco Sturm will have to build upon their numbers from last year for the Sharks to have a shot at the playoffs. The team is also expecting big things from Alyn McCauley.
Anaheim Mighty Ducks
Once upon a time there was a mighty dynamic duo, no not Batman and Robin, I'm talking 'bout Paul Kariya and Temu Selanne. But Anaheim couldn't afford to keep both so they let Selanne go awhile back and eventually replaced him with Oates. Had they kept Selanne they might be defending the cup this year. They never should have split those two, but now that they have its time to cut there loses and let Kariya and Oates go too. In as replacements are Sergei Fedorov and Vinny Prospal. Both are bigger and better two way players. Sergei proved he can be the number one go to guy last season when Detroit was riddled with injuries. Vinny, after bouncing from team to team settled down in Tampa the last two years and racked up 134 points. Anaheim came in to the playoffs last season with some Goalie named Guigere, they finished the playoffs with support of the MIGHTY Jean-Sebastian GIGUERE! Wow! look what one playoff run can do for a goalies reputation. But Jiggy is gonna have a lot to live up to this season and if he is anything less than amazing people are gonna start talking. What happen to Jiggy? Anaheim could repeat last years performance but that's a lot of pressure on a young goalie (think Brian Boucher).
Dallas Stars
You let Hatcher go! What were you thinking? There is no way around it Dallas will feel the loss of Darien Hatcher, but adding Teppo Numminen may soften the blow. Then up front Mike Modano, Jere Lehtinen, Bill Guerin and Jason Arnott form a strong core group of forwards who will be augmented by youngsters like Steve Ott, Niko Kapanen and Brenden Morrow. Goaltending duties are the responsibility of Marty Turco. The same Marty Turco who had a GAA of 1.72 last year, a feat that has not been done since Hitler was getting his ass kicked in Europe. Marty Turco is a perfectionist and was disappointed with his performance last post-season he went 6-6 which was not good enough for him despite having a 1.88 GAA attached to it. If something should happen to Turco, Dallas has a respectable back up with Ron Tugnutt who gets my vote for worst name in sports. (Ed - best name in sports.)
This is not the same Dallas team that won the cup a few years back but this is a pretty well rounded team. Deep up front, ample defense, and a goalie that can more then get the job done.
NORTHEAST by Chilly V
Buffalo Sabres
Things do not look great for the Sabres. They have a new owner but still no money. They did pick up two nice additions with Chris Drury and power play point man and former Flyer/Phantom Andy Dellmore. But last year Satan was the only player that could score, maybe Maxim Afinogenov will rebound from that puck to the head that seemed to shake him up last fall and maybe Alexei Zhitnik will find the net some more. On defense they lost Rhett Warrener to Calgary and James Patrick turned 40. In goal there is Biron, a 26 year old goalie who has been getting by on his potential not his skill. It is time for Biron to put up, or step aside and give Noronen a chance to prove himself. The Sabres deserve a fighting chance, but something tells me they probably won't be around for the playoffs.
Boston Bruins
The Boston Bruin had five different goalies last year and decided to go with Felix Potvin for the start of this year. Felix came from LA, LA took Crapmanek from Philly and Philly end up with Hackett coming to us from Boston almost like a crappy three way trade where everyone loses. Boston is also losing Jozef Stumple but they are still looking good up front with Thorton, Murray, Samsonov, Axelsson and Rolston. So Boston can score but how about defense? They still have veterans Nick Boyton and heavy-hitter Dan McGillis as well as prospect Jeff Jillison. Boston just made the playoffs last year and this year I expect the same.
Montreal Canadians
So they got a new GM, Bob Gainey, and he has got some work cut out for him but so far he hasn't done much. Saku Koviu and Zednick had great years last year but Thedore (while raking in 5 million a year) stunk worse than the locker room. So if Thedore gets his act together they can probably make the playoffs but this team can not stand up to Philly, NJ, or Ottawa in the playoffs. The good news is most of the talent is pretty young and Mr. Gainey has something to work with.
Ottawa Senators
If it ain't broke don't fix it. So don't expect to see to many major changes here. You can however say good bye to Magnus Arvedsson and say hello to Jason Spezza. For those of you who haven't heard Jason Spezza is the real deal. He's young but he is poised to make a big impact on the NHL this year. Keep an eye on him! They finished off last year with 113 points and they did it with the fourth lowest salary in the NHL. Expect them to finish near the top in the East.
Toronto Maple Leafs
Typical Toronto outlook, a lot of offense and no defense and a goalie who will have to stand on his head to keep his team in the game. Upfront you got name like Sundin, Nolan and Mogiliny, add to that the recent acquisition of Joe Nieuwendyk and offense shouldn't be a problem. But with the four defensemen hitting the road (Wesley, Svehla, Housley and Lumme) and only picking up Bryan Marchment there should be plenty of work for Ed Belfour in net. Fortunately for Toronto Ed Belfour is up to the challenge but at 39 years old he's no spring chicken and neither are some of his teammates, so injuries could be a problem.
SOUTHEAST by Steve
Tampa Bay Lightning
First of all, I hate all pro teams who aren't plural, and thank god Philly has none. (And don't drop "Liberty" or "Soul", I'm talking real teams.) How does one cheer for "Lightning"? All we Flyers fans really care about when it comes to the 'Ning is whether or not Khabibulin is going to possibly be in Philly, and whether he's still good enough to pursue. I've seen him stand on his head in the past. Can he do it again for the Ning? Or better yet, the Flyers? But Tampa's strengths lie in offensive production, with good young talent like Vincent Lacavalier and Martin St. Louis. Oh, and that Ruslan Fedotenko cat they traded what turned out to be Joni Pitkanen (in the draft) for. Their defense sucks and If the Bulin Wall doesn't work out for them, it could be ugly in Tampa. However, in the Southeast's tradition of trying to out-old each other, I see they still have Dave Freaking Andreychuk for "leadership." My man was nasty in SEGA hockey 93. Too bad it's 2003. The Lightning have no goons worth mentioning from what I can tell. This will hurt them in those time-honored "Battle of Florida" matchups. Look for Tampa to make the playoffs by winning the division, but not because of any real team talent.
Florida Panthers
The only thing more improbable than Florida's Finals appearance a few years ago is that Iron Mike Keenan can stomach coaching for these lummoxes. Wait a minute... I guess it's more improbable that there's a viable NHL franchise in South Beach. With ice, and a Zamboni or two. They even have palmtrees on their sweaters. Old Time hockey this is not. I quickly skimmed the roster and there's a bunch of eastern Europeans and Scandanavians I've never heard of, but they must be quick and crafty, and they will therefore steal a win or two from the Flyers and some other better but slowass teams. The Panthers' best asset is Robert Luongo, a former Islanders #1 pick, 4th overall. I saw him fight in an AHL game a couple years ago. He beat the crap out of the guy, which was nice to see... but the best part was that it was a forward, not the opposing goalie. Hexy would have been proud of the kid. He's big and he's good. Iron Mike will get some wins from a stingy defense that he always seems to have. They just signed Steve Shields from Boston for some reason. Not sure what that means. On offense, Viktor Kozlov and Bure will shine... oh wait, that's Valeri, not Pavel. An even bigger wuss. And he didn't even get to bang Anna Kornikova. So he sucks. On the goon front, the Panthers will most definitey miss Peter Worrell (now with the overloaded Avs) but they do have some old school ugly mug goons like Lyle Odelein and Igor Ulanov. Two pricks the Flyers have bloodied over the years. Their best tough guy is now Paul Laus, and he's no joke. If they lose games to Tampa, you know Keenan will goon it up and leave some calling cards. Good. Look for Florida to finish second to the Ning, but they'll still suck bad enough to miss out on the playoffs somehow.
Washington Crapitals
I'd feel sorry for this franchise if a) I didn't use all my sympathy up on the Thrashers, b) If I didn't think Jagr was such a wuss, c) if they weren't former Patrick Division foes of the Flyers, and d) if they weren't just so lame overall, owned by an AOL exec jackass. I'd feel sorry for them because no one gives a crap about the Caps. They made the finals recently and good tickets were still available. Pathetic. When they played out in Landover, games versus the Flyers were always pretty much Flyer home games. That's sad. It's also sad that I remember Hextall's playoff goal vs. the Caps better than their Cup finals run in 1998. Ok, so they do have Jaromir Jagr, Petr Bondra, Mike Grier, Oley the Goalie, "next great Flyer Danius Zubrus," among others. Oh wait, they really do have "next Flyer great Maxime Oullette. That sucks. That's a pretty solid lineup, so why do I place them behind the two crappy teams from Florida? Because they are a doomed franchise with no fans, no leadership, a coach killing star, and contract disputes, that's why. Goons? The Caps seem to kill the goon ethic... afterall, they turned metal mullet super goon Chris Simon into a productive forward. Stephen Peat seems to be their pugilist, and he's not bad. But if he's gotta protect notorious girls like Jags, Bondra, Zubrus, and Mikeal Nylander (out now with a broken leg), he's gonna be hurtin' for certain. There may be an unsung thug on the Caps I'm not familiar with, not being down with the AHL legions like Ron and OB. (Ed note - Bondra fought "ferociously" with Kapinen in the preseason, don't dis') Of note, Stevie Konowalchuk did predict a Cup parade on Broad Street in 2004. Too many pucks to the head, I think.
Atlanta Thrashers
Just whom they will be thrashing is not known. I know they are named after a bird and all, but I prefer to think of them as a verb, particularly in the past tense. As in "Thrashed." That would work better if it didn't rhyme with "crashed" which is what Dany Heatley did literally, and the team's hopes along with it. Heatley is (was?) for real. He lit it up in last year's All Star game (yes, I'm one of the few who actually watch that mess) and he was great on a crap team in a crap city, with, most likely, crap fans. And now he's responsible for the death of his teammate, Dan Snyder. Now, if he had the other Dan Snyder of Redskins fame in his car and he killed him, that would have been a good thing. The 1-2 punch of Heatley and Ilya Kovalchuk was something we hockey fans could really look forward to. Hopefully, Heatley will be able to rekindle this soon, and not worry about the 1-2 punch of Joe and Don in the big house. Anyway, Atlanta's whole team is based on offense, as they have nothing on defense and nothing between the pipes. Lord Byron Dafoe and a couple guys I've never heard of. He's old and they probably suck. They've got some decent guys up front, and they will win a few games for the Thrashers. However, even with former Flyer defensive stalwart behind the bench (Brad McCrimmon) this D sucks hard. When it comes to dropping the gloves, it goes without saying Atlanta will be ok. Possibly the best in the division, if only because Tamer and Lessard have retard strength. If it weren't for the Heatley mess, I'd rank them a few spots higher, so if he comes back ok, they'll do ok. They'll "Do it for Dany" for a few weeks, then fade away. And for the record, "Do it for Dany" is only half as weak as "Cowboy Up!"
Hartford/Carolina WhalerCanes
Having been raised on Philly teams, I learned early on not to forgive or forget. I don't. Transplanted up here to Hartford, CT, I can tell y'all we're still mighty pissed over losing the Mighty Whale. Every bad report that comes from hickville Carolina warms our hearts up here. It was scary a couple years ago when they miraculously reached the finals, as we didn't want to become like Quebec or Minnesota whose teams went on to win the Cup shortly after leaving town. I'll spare you all the whining, but let it be known we supported the team up here, more people showed up to watch the bad product they put out there then in Carolina, and Jim Rutherford, the prick owner, is losing money hand over fist down there. May he lose much more. So after they made the finals in 2002, last year's league worst record was a welcome sight. The Canes played as ugly as their main man, Rod Brind'Amour, looks. Ron Francis still dresses for this pathetic band of has beens. He's 40. Glen Wesley is a WhalerCane. Go back in time and check out who the Whale gave up for this useless piece of crap. You won't believe it. Arturs Irbe and his Alex Drinko 8th grade street hockey mask is old and is on the way out. They just signed Jamie Storr who couldn't hang in LA with Cechmanek. They also have Kevin Weekes in net, who represents his last name well. This team sucks. I can't even identify any goons on this squad besides Bob Boughner who can't fight. Plus, he just broke his hand last week, so maybe Brindy will have to pick up the slack. So not only will they lose tons of games, fans won't have a reason to go to the games, and the franchise will therefore lose more money, and hopefully they will fold and the owner will have to declare bankruptcy and live out his life in squalor, before spending eternity squatting on a pitchfork in a hockeyless hell. I heard there's lots of NASCAR in that one. The Canes do have some rookie named Eric Staal who is supposedly pretty good. But he's 18. And Jeff O'Neill can be nasty, but on a personal level I've always hated him from when I knew all the Whalers. For the record, Glen Featherstone and Kevin Dineen are, by far, two of the nicest pro athletes you could ever hope to meet. Jeff O'Neill and Dan Cloutier are pricks. They will have strife in goal. Coach Paul Maurice will (finally) be fired by December. Ron Francis will die of a heart attack mid game. The Hurricanes blow. Get it?
ATLANTIC by Ron
Devils
The boring but winning Devils try to repeat as Stanley Cup Champs. Can you believe they won it all having the worst power play? They rely on executing their boring system and on Brodeur stopping everything. Gone from last year's championship winning defense are Tommy Albelin, Ken Daneyko (retired), Richard Smehlik and Oleg Tverdovsky but they still have Scott Niedermayer, Brian Rafalski, 40 year old Scott Stevens and Colin White. They also added Sean Brown from Boston. Look for the Devils to win lots of games and be boring.
Islanders
Last year the Islanders led the Atlantic with 224 goals despite the underwhelming play of $8.4 million man Alexi Yashin. The team did not play a complete game though and sputtered. In the offseasn they got a new coach - some old guy named Steve Stirling. He used to coach their minor league team the Bridgeport Sound Tigers. Islanders have real good players like Michael Peca, Adrian Aucoin, Dave Scatchard, Kenny Jonsson and Roman Hamrlik and ok ones like Garth Snow, Jason Wiemer, Jason Blake, and maybe Rick Dipietro. Look for the Islanders to be a hard team to defense and one that could be a threat if they play right and stop being a bunch of whiney bitches.
Rangers
The ever spending, never sending a team into the playoffs Rangers might have a chance this year. They still have Leetch, picked up Greg de Vries from Colorado and Mike Dunham is pretty good and getting better so they could prevent a few more goals this year. Bure is done but they have Anson Carter, Lindros, Holik, Nedved and Kovalev. Also signed Chris Simon. On paper, as usual, the Rangers look good. On the ice they suck. Glen "not a hockey genius anymore" Sather is coaching from day one this year so maybe he might just get the team into the playoffs just so they can lose in the first round.
Pittsburgh
Lemieux is going to play again at age 100. He is still great. Too bad the rest of his team eats it. The team could be called the Wilke-Barre/Scranton/Pittsburgh Penguins with all the minor league players they have. They also have a bunch of geezers pushing 40. The Penguins are said to be impressed with Sebastien Caron their 24 game veteran goaltender and look for their younger players to realize their potential now. Look for flashes of great hockey sprinkled on a steady diet of mediocrity and crap, especially when Lemieux is off the ice.
Flyers
Hitchcock is good. Players overrated. Hackett looks like a sieve. Pitkanen next defensive star? Primeau will still suck. You know the rest 'cause it looks to be the same old story.
